Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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