giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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