my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
