and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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