one might say we're banned from that church
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
