You work out of a Hotel?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
