im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize