Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
