party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He did a backflip because drugs
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