My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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