You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
