i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
