I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
