i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
