remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
