I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
