Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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