I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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