that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
