I'm really into asian looking animals
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
