nut hugger
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
