i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
