so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Randomize
