I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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