mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
