Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
