Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize