his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize