Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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