I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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