It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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