epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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