I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
