got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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