honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Randomize