Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
