My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
