I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
