HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
