Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
