ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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