i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
