I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
