I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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