It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
