In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize