omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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