I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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