Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
