let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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