Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize