The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
