i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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