White coat. Heels.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize