I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
