ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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