I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
did i just pee glitter
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
