I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
