I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
