I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
