Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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