I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
