Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
